I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
