that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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