So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
