Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he thought i was a dude.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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