He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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