so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
