I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
