You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
