I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize