On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
