i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Acid is not a monday night drug
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
