Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you never un-have a 4some
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
