That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize