smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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