whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
