You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
