He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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