Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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