On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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