walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
