God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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