i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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