Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
