I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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