my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
