I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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