So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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