I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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