I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I could fuck to npr.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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