is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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