I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
