i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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