I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
