I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
