I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
