you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize