I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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