This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
