We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
