I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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