Someone shit on the floor
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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