can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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