We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
