a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
