i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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