He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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