I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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