At least make sure they are 18
Why
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize