he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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