Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
