he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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