Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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