69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
